Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Wedding Weekend

This Friday I flew to Dallas for a 16 hour stay in the metroplex. My mom was getting married and being that I am in the middle of quarter work I had to work on both Saturday and Sunday. Therefore driving wasn't an option and so I had originally planned on not going. It was weird, but my mom was dead set on me attending and ended up paying for the flight.

I parked off site from airport parking to save money and had one of those little life joy moments when a family with a child of maybe 5 got on the bus. He would have been cute already, but the English Accent put him into overdrive. I consider myself a happy person, and in fact happier then most, but the unrequited joy of a child is quite infectious. You can't help but smile. I thought about how cool it would be to have a kid… that is until he started whining. Then I realized that like some women children can often swing to the opposite end of the emotional spectrum like a pendulum.

Upon arrival I was picked up by my new step brother. When he introduced himself and wanted to shake my hand I almost pulled the "Brothers don't shake hands, brothers hug," line from Tommy Boy, but the logistics just made it near impossible. There are few things you regret for the rest of your life, but this may go on mine.

The wedding was very uneventful except for a few key gems:

A conversation between my 80 year old grandmother and my brother

"So are any of you boys getting married anytime soon?"


(Grandma sees new step sister walk by)

"You should talk to her she's cute"

"That's our stepsister"

"So it's not blood you should all marry a sister"

"She's the only one and she's only 18"

(Grandma leans in to talk to David)

"Well you know it's not rape if she is of age"

I laughed really hard and proceeded to tell everyone I know after hearing this exchange. I mean we have never really been close to my grandmother and in fact hadn't seen her in 8 years. I now regret those years of neglect.

The other entertainment of the party was Lori who managed to fit in as many social faux paus's in an hour and a half as possible. She was Midas of entertainment for the night.

Vas was talking to my aunt and she was relaying to him how she had just been laid off due to her Company downsizing. At this point Lori steps into the conversation and says "I just wanted to say congratulations I'm so happy for you," thinking that my aunt was really my mom. Things just got really quiet and my aunt feigned a "thanks" in order to save face. It was so awesome I wanted to slow applaud the exchange. Upon leaving, my uncle who is 50 or so was escorting out my 80 year old grandmother. As we are saying goodbye Lori says "it was so nice meeting you and your wife, ya'll drive safe." My grandmother's face lighting up was eclipsed by the sheer disappointment on my uncle's face. The best part about this was a year ago he was dating a 25 year old and was broken up with because he was too old. I've never seen such a swift KO of someone's self esteem.

Overall it was a fun trip and felt much longer then the 24 hours I was there. I definitely need to go back to Dallas soon.

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