Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Meaning Of Life?

I spend a lot of time thinking about what the meaning of life is. You know why are we here? If you are a Christian then you have to at least believe that part of the reason you are here is so you can essentially choose to be with God or not, but once you do that (if that’s all there is) then I mean you would have nothing left to do/accomplish. Take a seat son and cruise along you’re done. If you didn’t do anything else in life then you win. I personally don’t feel that’s all there is
All I heard about from friends, family, tv, and that one weird random motivational speaker that comes and talks to your class senior year is “College is about finding yourself”, or “you really discover who you are in college.” So I essentially set out to do that. I spent a lot of my college experience trying to discover who I am.

I got to the point where I saw who I was and that’s it? I’m done? Fast forward to today and that’s where I am. I know what I am, I love who I am, but my journey isn’t over. Yesterday I had this epiphany. We are told to “find ourselves”; to go out and find out who you are. Instead you should find out what you want to become and then become that. The more I study myself I learn that limitations I believed in or things that I thought were personality traits are really things I can change. Just in reading this blog I can see that I’m not who I was six or even two months ago. I limit myself and thus my world as opposed to the other way around. Now I obviously will never be a 6’8” pro basketball player but I think John Eldredge said it best in one of my favorite books, Wild At Heart:

Desire reveals design, and design reveals destiny.

I don’t have a desire to be a pro basketball player. I would take the money and fame, but as far as the work that it takes to get there; it wasn’t on my list growing up. I didn’t desire it; I wasn’t designed for it. Everyday is a challenge for me, did I grow today? Did I get better? And I’ve noticed I never find myself lacking if I’m growing. It’s the journey that gives me the confidence, the pride in who I am. I now try and set small goals for myself. Things I want to accomplish in a time frame. And I couldn’t be happier with life because I know I’m in control. Something new I have been trying is when anything bad happens to identify three positive or possible positive outcomes of the negative event.

I have set backs all the time and I probably don’t do things in the best way possible. But as I said in an earlier post, quantity always beats out quality in the end. Just go for it and do your best and you will strike gold. Success can’t be defined because it is different for every single person on this planet. We were all designed (or if you don’t believe in that our environment/genetic makeup makes us more adept to accomplish certain things) to do something different. The variance of humanity and the human experience is awesome in itself.

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
-Gil Bailie

Thursday, January 29, 2009


I have found that very often in life I decide ahead of time I assume the role they will play in my life and more often than not I get far more out the relationship then I could have ever hoped or thought I wanted. Tina is a good example of this.

I’m very heavily involved in recruiting for my Company. In fact, I would have to say that it is by far one of my favorite activities. I love the competition, meeting new people, and essentially selecting the newest members of the Company. It’s also just a great way to socialize with coworkers. We had a planning meeting for the years recruiting activities and afterwards a happy hour. I met a lot of different people and through one of my conversations met up with some people who were interested in running together. Getting in shape after busy season (I was 170 at the time) was definitely something on my list and Tina being the most devoted of us all suggested I join them on some morning runs. Getting up early was not my forte at this point in my life but I was willing to make the sacrifice for the endeavor.

We started an email chain that was really quite active and I was impressed with the way Tina could keep up and quip back. Something that has been rare for me to find. Initially, there were no thoughts of any sort of relationship as it was just something that wasn’t on my radar. Her level of interest though became apparent and in getting to know her I saw a lot of her great qualities. She had a drive to be her best in all areas, worked hard at what she did, and was on a constant path to discover who she was. All of these things I either admired or related too.
And it’s interesting to note that when someone is fond of you that there is always a good reason to hang out together. In fact, it’s easier to hang out more often then not. Emails became ideas and soon we were getting together to cook together, run, etc. Immediately I saw the signs, but can you ever just quelch the fire that begins so abruptly? I knew as things progressed that this was going to be one of those flash in the pan trists that burns bright from the get go and flames out almost as fast. You are in a whirlwind of emotion and you know it’s too fast and if you slow down things will progress as they should. But how can you? How can you say slow down? I don’t know if I would have wanted too.

The vivid memory that still sticks out in my mind, is me walking out of her house and she is sitting there on the porch watching me leave, and her eyes are just so fiery. Plus her smile, is quite contagious and at least at this time there was a certain bubblyness to our interactions that I couldn’t have been more fond of. Another time, we rode a bus to a recruiting event and secretly texted eachother the entire trip there and back. No one else the wiser, we felt like we were together on some sort of crime.

As I alluded to before, all of this was over within a period of two or three weeks. It was fun and getting over something so short is not really emotionally painful. Plus the fruits of this relationship were far greater then all of this. Tina’s level of commitment to personal fitness got me off my butt initially for the opportunity to run with some lovely girls and partly to get in shape. Through this though I have become the most fit I have ever been in my life and have a strong desire to maintain or surpass it. It couldn’t have been wrapped any better. I’m truly thankful for how Tina has probably changed the rest of my life in that regard (not to mention the other girls who have become good friends)

Last but not least Tina and my relationship is far from the same (how could it be?). I thought I had pegged her but I realize now that a lot of my perception was based on how she treated me when she adored me. This made me realize that I often judge people’s character or qualities by how the treat me. What could be more selfish? My disappointment was the result of my assumptions. Therefore if I have given people too much credit at times but probably more often than that too little.
Perhaps that is why Nietsche said:
Love is a state in which a man sees things most decidedly as they are not.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Immediately after our relationship ended there a drastic change and that is the biggest crime of our relationship. People reveal a certain honesty about themselves at times and to see that and have it taken away is a crime in and of itself.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Starting February Early

One of my current undertakings is to give up something for a month that I feel possibly doesn’t serve me any positive purpose. The thing I have given up this month is drinking. Documenting this will come at the end of the month, but through this experience I obviously spend time thinking about what I will give up the following month. I decided long ago that I would give up video games in the month of February, but in preparation for that I think about the pros and cons of the activity.

If you have read my blog from the beginning then you know that video games are something I have enjoyed for probably the better part of 18 years or so. Through them I have made friends, developed leadership skills, mental astuteness, etc. I have also wasted a considerable amount of time. They say for one to master something they have to have been doing it for 10 years. While I wouldn’t consider myself a master at any one game I have an ability to get fairly decent at any game that I decide to undertake. So then the question becomes what benefit are games serving me? Aside from the enjoyment of the experience the real answer is not a whole lot. Many of the things I would gain with the amount I’m playing now (about 4-5 hours a week max) I have already gained. As this has been one of my primary points of entertainment for the better part of my life it’s time to say goodbye. Well I never play again? I don’t know because I have for so long that I don’t know what life is like without it.

Either way I have resolved to stop playing games for the time being and do something else. For the first month that will be learn the piano. I have talked about doing it but have never fully resolved myself to undertake the task. At the end of February I will reassess.

I wrote the above last night and when I went home I turned on my computer and preceded to uninstall every game that I had. It doesn’t really seem like a big deal, but in a way it is for me because I have essentially decided that this isn’t my backup form of entertainment. My two planned methods of utilizing the time right now are piano (for at least a month) and reading (if you want to be in the book club holla back)

Mind Body and Spirit Update

It has been quite some time since I have written a blog. And while I have had thoughts about what I was going to say through my own fault I have not documented them.

One of my former posts was a commentary on attempting to do something for the mind, spirit and body on a daily basis. Here’s an update:


I’ve been reading quite a few books and this has been my primary means of supporting this attribute. My main focus has been on reading books regarding financial matters as I will be teaching a class this Spring to help others get out of debt/properly save. (If you’re interested holla back) Two of the books I have read are Your Money Counts by Howard Dayton and I am currently reading Sound Mind Investing by Austin Pryor. They are great reads and I recommend them. Sound Mind is more nuts and bolts and Your Money Counts is more biblical based. Additionally, I am still reading How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. This is probably one of the best books ever written. If you haven’t read this book it will change the way you communicate. I know that I am still trying to apply Carnegie’s principals to my life.


Going into this journey this was probably the area I was least excited about pursuing, but has been the most fulfilling. As I said before this area can mean so many different things to people. It can range from meditation and self reflection to practicing your religion of choice. For me it has been a journey that has tied into my classwork for the Crown Financial Class I spoke briefly about above coupled with prayer and church. Often I try to compartmentalize my life and that leads to internal strife. By undertaking a daily spiritual journey not only do I have an increased definition of my spirituality but an increased comfortableness with where I want to take my life.


Body has been another great journey. As many of you know I have been taking crossfit and the change has been dramatic. My body composition has really started to change. I’ve become faster, stronger, and in better shape in a dramatic way. I have before and after pictures which I will post in a few weeks. I started out on a no carb diet but have gone back on carbs with the hope of gaining some muscle mass. My weight went from 165 down to 150 and now I’m back up to 160 or so. Additionally I’ve been taking creatine as well which would contribute to the weight gain.

To comment on the no carb diet it is a great way to lose weight. If you want to drop some lbs and haven’t tried it then I highly recommend it. The fat will drop off. I’ve now done it three times and have had good results and have more or less kept off the weight. Right now I am focusing on eating only fruits and vegetables as my source of carbs along with very few whole grains. In the long run I feel this is the best strategy for maximum health.


The results of my daily focus have been even more dramatic then I could have pictured. By improving in all three aspects I find important I feel that I have become a better person. I recommend it if you haven’t tried it. I’ll make a more substantial post on each topic in the future.

The Women in the Red Dress

Have you ever seen someone and for some reason you were just connected. I'm not talking about wow that girl is really hot, but the moment where you see someone and you just want to talk to them. Because when you saw her for a moment your heart just skipped a beat. Did you do it? Did you talk to her? I know I didn't . I can't vividly remember the weekend, but that moment is extremely real to me, even to this day.

It was summer and I was in Austin on a trip to visit Horn and Darshan. I don't remember exactly why the trip was particularly planned; but the water was high and it was a blast. We partied at Barton Springs all day. Jumping off cliffs and just letting the current take us downstream. One of those summer days you wish you had everyday. That night we went out and I don't even remember where, but there was this balcony and from the lower level we saw some people that we knew from high school and so we headed up and started talking. In the middle of conversation, I look over and there is this girl leaning over the balcony. Just brilliant elegance. She had dark brown hair and just seemed to glow. This wasn't a drop dead gorgeous thing because I leaned over and told Matt and while he though she was cute he wasn't nearly as captivated as me. She was wearing a white dress with a green floral design on it and I just wanted to walk up and talk and I didn't. There was no good reason not to. She may have rejected me and it wouldn't have been a big deal to the point I probably would vaguely even remember the encounter.

And this can happen in anything we do. At some point you just have to go for it. Next time I hope I do.

Understanding In a Snowflake

As I was driving home from work tonight I realized that this snow, brought alot of joy to alot of people. Once people in the office I work at heard about the snow outside everyone got excited, and everyone got in a better mood. When do we see snow? Not often, so when it comes around it's one of those little things that just makes you smile.

So I thought about this as I navigated the icy roads on my way home from work and realized that the snow itself isn't what's special. People up north are probably tired of snow. It's the change. While we maybe think we dread it deep down it brings out the best in us. It makes us adapt and appreciate what we have. We develop. We smile.

And It’s Killing You

What I do can be tough. We work long hours and really don't get paid for working overtime. So you have to eye your job for the value it provides because salary just is not what it could be somewhere else. I choose everyday to work here. I don't live a life where I blame other people for my situation. In fact, if you know me unless you ask how work is going you're not going to hear me complain about it because I know what I'm getting myself in to. That's my outlook.

Some of my coworkers are not like me. They get pissed that we work so much and it literally steals their joy. They are not the same person. This job slowly takes them out day by day until they are sad, angry, and upset all the time. I see it happen to a lot of people. I think that happens for two reasons: the unwillingness to say no and the wrong perspective.

I see this job as a study for my job in the future. No one in this profession will deny that you learn a hell of a lot faster then most people your age. You talk to CEOs, CFOs, and controllers of very large companies. If you have the right mindset you really soak in a lot of what's going on around you. The people who get burned out just focus on the grind and the time and not the end goal. I heard a great quote once, "If you want the prize, keep your eye on the target." You have to focus on the task at hand and the reward will come.

Something that has stuck with me from day one is a quote my finance professor would say to us on almost a daily basis: "Don't ever put yourself in a position to be the guy in the clown suit at the Company picnic." It meant a lot of things. Don't put yourself in financial debt to where you have to have a job to survive, and most importantly know your boundaries; what you will and won't do and how far you can be pushed. At least in what I have witnessed a lot of the discontent is people being pushed beyond their limits for too long.

I don't get this way because I understand what I got myself in to, and I don't feel like I have to stay at my job. Life is a lot more than how much you make or what you do. It's about experiences and interactions. Why put yourself through something you hate? We are merely a small speck on the timeline of the universe. Don't waste it doing something you hate.


I've been to many weddings, but never one where I knew both the bride and groom fairly well. Prior to the ceremony starting we cracked up and made jokes as we're known to do and as the groomsman walked forward we couldn't help but chuckle as our friends put on their "serious face" as they took their place among the gazebo. In fact everyone was enjoying the ceremonious splendor of it all.

Then Leslie came out. She looked ravishing to say the least, but the entire mood of the crowd changed. The lights were now focused on the bride and groom (as it should be). As they saw eachother for the first time I felt this strong presence of love. It permeated the entire audience and for a moment we all felt this bond that Leslie and Nick shared. It was truly inspiring. We felt true love, and that's why I think people love weddings; because even if just for a few minutes we feel this connection between two people. It was amazing.

It also made me think of the permanence and relevance of love. True love speaks louder then any poem, any story, any song. It is beyond description, and yet the awe of it and longing for it connects us all. Thanks Leslie and Nick because you showed us what true love is.

Mind Body and Spirit

I read an article recently where someone suggested addressing mind, spirit and body everyday. This will lead to emotional well being, bodily health, and mental sharpness/ development.

I am giving it a try and started today, but in case you are interested here is a brief rundown of what I am trying to accomplish.

Mind: Do something that actively develops you as a person. This could be reading, undertaking some hobby, or doing a task that perhaps you have been afraid of/unsure of doing in the past. Today I read for an hour on a topic that interested me for example. This blog is also an example of that. I am not a particularly good writer and this is my attempt at bettering that aspect.

Spirit: This is very different for everyone. For those of us who do not belong to a certain religion this would involve meditation, or self reflection. A moment of quiet if you will. For those of us with religious inclinations it would be studying your religious text, religious music, etc. I meditated and read today, and I only lasted 10 minutes on the meditation, but it was actually very relaxing and fulfilling. I feel much calmer now.

Body: This is the easiest one to explain. It's running, playing a sport, lifting weights, whatever. Today I ran for about 30 minutes and did some stretching. I'm doing crossfit at least one day this week.

Anyway I don't plan on daily updating my status, but in case anyone else is interested I wanted to fill you in.

Plans Change

I am not an easily excitable person. There are few things that get me really pumped up, but going to Tampa was one of them. Matt's going to the military and I'm working in the spring and with Jack being there I knew this would be the best trip ever. Even when I found out that Jack wouldn't be able to make it I was still super pumped about it.

Then I found out my grandfather died. He was my step mom's dad. He was a veteran. I didn't know him that well, and have probably actually seen him maybe 5 times, unfortunately. He was a gentle man and when he spoke you could tell he was speaking with conviction. I realized almost instantly we both shared the same light hearted outlook on life.

Yet when I found out he had passed away I partly wanted to go on my trip anyway and just send flowers. A small piece of me was hoping that my life was more important. It really puts things into perspective for me. There will be countless times where the CLC will cause havoc and paint the town red, but there will only be one funeral for my late grandfather. So boys drink one (or four in hacas's case) for me and I'll see you when we get home. You'll find me with the family celebrating the life of a great man.

The Dream

I have this weird dream sometimes. It doesn't happen extremely often but it has happened more than once. The reason that makes it stand out is how bizarre it is and how vivid it is. I'm not sure what to make of it so try your interpretations out.

In the dream I'm listening to someone tell me story, but it's almost like they are narrating the pictures. So they tell me about these cliffs somewhere in the world (I guess ..Africa) where animals go to die. And as they relay the story to me I can see the cliff and animals are walking up the side of it and just falling off of it. It would be funny except there is a very macabre feeling about it. The animals just march slowly and then fall off. The two animals I really remember are a rhinoceros and a giraffe. The animals just walk off fall into the water and then float to the top and float away. They don't make a sound and there is a long line of animals waiting to fall off. Another scene is crocodiles, like really huge ones, but they are eating each other. There is a guy there (maybe me or maybe not) trying to pull the eaten crocodiles out. He is trying to save them but it is too late and already dead.

I know everyone dreams, but I mention this one because A) it has reoccurred and B) it is weird and not tied to anything that was going on the night or day before. I really wish I could remember the last time I had this dream, but I can't.

Wedding Weekend

This Friday I flew to Dallas for a 16 hour stay in the metroplex. My mom was getting married and being that I am in the middle of quarter work I had to work on both Saturday and Sunday. Therefore driving wasn't an option and so I had originally planned on not going. It was weird, but my mom was dead set on me attending and ended up paying for the flight.

I parked off site from airport parking to save money and had one of those little life joy moments when a family with a child of maybe 5 got on the bus. He would have been cute already, but the English Accent put him into overdrive. I consider myself a happy person, and in fact happier then most, but the unrequited joy of a child is quite infectious. You can't help but smile. I thought about how cool it would be to have a kid… that is until he started whining. Then I realized that like some women children can often swing to the opposite end of the emotional spectrum like a pendulum.

Upon arrival I was picked up by my new step brother. When he introduced himself and wanted to shake my hand I almost pulled the "Brothers don't shake hands, brothers hug," line from Tommy Boy, but the logistics just made it near impossible. There are few things you regret for the rest of your life, but this may go on mine.

The wedding was very uneventful except for a few key gems:

A conversation between my 80 year old grandmother and my brother

"So are any of you boys getting married anytime soon?"


(Grandma sees new step sister walk by)

"You should talk to her she's cute"

"That's our stepsister"

"So it's not blood you should all marry a sister"

"She's the only one and she's only 18"

(Grandma leans in to talk to David)

"Well you know it's not rape if she is of age"

I laughed really hard and proceeded to tell everyone I know after hearing this exchange. I mean we have never really been close to my grandmother and in fact hadn't seen her in 8 years. I now regret those years of neglect.

The other entertainment of the party was Lori who managed to fit in as many social faux paus's in an hour and a half as possible. She was Midas of entertainment for the night.

Vas was talking to my aunt and she was relaying to him how she had just been laid off due to her Company downsizing. At this point Lori steps into the conversation and says "I just wanted to say congratulations I'm so happy for you," thinking that my aunt was really my mom. Things just got really quiet and my aunt feigned a "thanks" in order to save face. It was so awesome I wanted to slow applaud the exchange. Upon leaving, my uncle who is 50 or so was escorting out my 80 year old grandmother. As we are saying goodbye Lori says "it was so nice meeting you and your wife, ya'll drive safe." My grandmother's face lighting up was eclipsed by the sheer disappointment on my uncle's face. The best part about this was a year ago he was dating a 25 year old and was broken up with because he was too old. I've never seen such a swift KO of someone's self esteem.

Overall it was a fun trip and felt much longer then the 24 hours I was there. I definitely need to go back to Dallas soon.


It's so hard, to say goodbye to yesterday...

-Boyz II Men

As humans I think we generally like a certain level of normalcy. We want certain things known in our life at all times. The more we can control the better we tend to feel. I think a lot of those feelings carry over into our emotional lives. We want to have that comfort level with someone; that normally takes time to develop in an instant. It's great when you don't have to explain yourself to someone; you just are. And I don't mean that in the literal sense. When you first interact with someone you are fitting the pieces to form a relationship. There is some give and take. You have to develop a comfort level with someone in order to "get them". When you finally do; the relationship requires less work. Things just are. The boundaries have been set and the foundation is poured. This is what the relationship will be built on.

As you are separated from someone that relationship starts to unfold, but from the top down. The new/just figured out things change, but the core of the relationship is the last to go. The foundation is how your minds defined how the two of you will interact. All relationships have landmarks or events that will shape it until it ends. I feel that the closer it is to the beginning of the relationship the more likely a big event will influence the relationship.

I'm not sure if anyone else has, but I have been guilty of the on again off again relationship. Obviously, when you date someone for such a long period of time there are a lot of things you love about that person. If there isn't then why the hell are you dating so long in the first place? I've had three relationships that have spanned over two years in my life and emotionally I still care very much about these people. In fact, I want them all to end up very happy. For one reason or the other I/we know that our ideal happiness just doesn't involve each other romantically. That said I still love them like sisters and would always be there for them. This also is why my golden rule is to never talk bad about someone that I have dated. There is a certain trust that is exchanged and I honor that. Obviously, in some of these cases I was heartbroken and this feeling took time, but as I've grown older I have realized that it is all for the best.

My last long term relationship went through the latter half of college and things went great, but for purposes of public decency I won't vet out what went wrong. Either way there was drama involved and things ended. Now we didn't talk policy for about 9 months, and we had graduated, started new jobs, etc. Then slowly we started talking occasionally. This led to hanging out more, then kinda dating and then dating. Things were great at first and then it deteriorated. I was talking to an old college roommate and he asked me how things were and I relayed to him some relationship struggles. He laughed and told me that the same problems we were having now were the same things I had talked to him about almost three years ago. This took me aback. Ironically, he is in a similar situation and his problems were unchanged as well.

Now the only reason this surprised me is that I know that both of us have changed for the better. We are happier, wiser, and just overall more in tune with what we want out of life. We both care for eachother, and when we started out for the second time we both wanted things to work out. So why didn't things change? I spent all week thinking about it.

We have these landmarks that set the foundation for how our relationship will go and as time goes on some of the things on top wilt away, but we still have a foundation that was tainted. As the Bible says we were building our house on the sand. Our past failure was predictable of what would happen in the future. Regardless of how different we were today. Now I think that this could be overcome, but it takes A LOT of work and a lot of patience. In fact, so much so that I would say married couples only need undertake the task.


Has this happened to you? Did it work out?

PS I haven't posted in awhile because I was chest deep in work. Things are starting to slow down so expect more posts.

Why I Don't Care About Politics

In honor of the election, I decided to respond with my political views. For the record, I voted in the last election and out of curiosity watched the first presidential debate. In the end though it's not really a big deal to me personally who wins. Here's why:

1) The Electoral College

This is my number one pet peeve with the presidential election. Why the hell are we still following a system made in the 1700's? It made sense back then. TV didn't exist and thus candidates were exposed localy and in large cities. This made it to where groups of people more or less would vote in ignorance. Newspapers weren't as real time and there wasn't much of an associated press to speak of. Therefore, delegates were selected. These delegates paid attention to the issues and were supposed to cast their nomination on behalf of their constituents. Why is the fact this institution exists almost never brought up?

Why does this matter? Well many states will submit all their votes in favor of a particular candidate regardless of how large the state's minority vote is. Therefore, as in the Gore/Bush election a candidate can win the popular vote and lose the election.

2) I live in Texas

This makes 1 actually relevant to me. Texas will always be a Republican state for better or worse. We only assign our delegates to one candidate so therefore regardless of which way I vote my vote has basically already been assigned to the Republican party. Regardless of if I show up or not I voted Republican. And for you Texas Democrats out there the State of Texas says you voted Republican too. I'm definitely for change and would strongly support any movement to reverse this. Along the same vein, if I was in a swing state (Florida, Ohio, etc) I would be paying a lot more attention and devote a lot more time to the election. Since I don't, number 1 & 2 encompass 80% of my apathy.

3) There is not a hell of a lot of difference

In college political science I learned that regardless of which party is president similar policies get passed. This has held true for decades. Now there is a little variance here and there, but nothing that I can feel. There is always a large enough minority to ensure some concessions. In fact, our country has gotten more and more middle of the road as the years go on. Good thing? Sure…

4) I'm not a lobbyist

I don't have a lot of money and therefore I can't pay off politicians to get my way. You want to control Washington get a couple million to throw here and there and get some laws passed that directly benefit you.

5) I'm not rich or poor

One of the big issues is always taxes. This is actually an area of difference that we see between Democrats and Republicans. Republicans tend to tax everyone equally and Democrats tend to tax the rich more and the poor less. I'm not going to go into who is right or wrong, but in the end sitting in the middle class I am more or less unaffected by this. See you in $100k.

6) I don't have kids/ own my own business

This is my reasoning for not voting for the school board/city positions. I don't have a large stake for the most part in what they are hoping to accomplish.

7) I for the most part am independent

I tend to side with Republicans just for the general fact that I don't like large governments. I think we do way too much right now and spend way too much money doing it. I want to take care of myself and my family. I don't want the government doing it. That said there are people who do need help and that I support being taken care of. I'm just not one of them.

I'm not trying to discourage anyone from voting. I'm just putting my opinion out there. If you are heavy into politics great, I'll always tell you my opinion and most of you know I definitely have one, but at the end of the day for me personally it doesn't really matter.

What a Morning

In our lifetimes we will probably see very few people emotionally raw. I'm talking about where they have stripped themselves of all social constraints and just are. It takes either a lot of trust or a hell of a lot of alcohol. And I experienced the latter at 5am today.

I woke up to the sound of my doorbell ringing over and over and over. Looking at the clock on my cellphone it reads 5:10 in the morning. Who….the….hell… is at my door at 5am? I walk down from the third floor and standing at the top of my stairs stare down and see something straight out of a movie. A blonde woman is hanging her head against my door in a robe holding a bottle of vodka. I contemplate if I should open the door. Hell I was already up; this was going to get interesting. As soon as I open the door a woman I have never met starts wailing like a banshee. I can't really make out what's she saying. No blood… she's not pointing anywhere… I guess it's not an emergency. She's in her 30's and I think she is the next door neighbor though I'm not sure. I'm half awake and she's half talking so there are a lot of barriers to overcome before communication can ensue.

"WHAAA internet typee typee you have"

"Are you asking if my internet is working"

"Yaaaaaa"(nods head)

"No it's not"

"Go ask them (points across the driveway)"

"No one here has internet and it's 5am"

She's upset. Her name is Shelly and she wants internet. She asks me to sit down. I crouch as she lays on my porch in a pile of debri and leaves now adorns her hair and vodka is pouring both on her and my porch. She doesn't really say much it's just me trying to convince her to go inside/figure out if she even is my next door neighbor. Apparently she writes, but can't write because her internet is out. Drunk logic I guess? As she rolls around the floor things start falling out as she kicks her legs around. I barely know my neighbors name and I have seen her naked… this is uncomfortably weird. At this point she notices my toes which are neatly cleaned up.

"Nice pedicure your gay… I understand"

"I'm not gay the girl I'm dating did that" (they do look rather shiny and I stop to admire them)

Now that Shelly understands my sexual orientation she proceeds to offer me oral sex. Rapidly interchanging her "typee typees" with "suckee suckees" and making inappropriate gestures. I graciously decline and contemplate waking my brother up1. Not wanting to wake him from his angelic sleep I just try and convince her to go to bed. Shelly starts forming a circle with her hands asking me if I'm in her circle of trust and that I need to get inside of it (proceeds to put one finger in the circle) and offers to pay me. At this point I start laughing about how unbelievably hilarious this story is and how people will react when I tell them this story. When something this surreal happens you almost live outside of the moment and just witness it.

Apparently she had rung other neighbors doorbells because a police officer starts walking up my driveway. His first view is of a girl holding a bottle of vodka in a robe and me standing there in my boxer briefs. I'm concerned and not wanting to get tased for what he could presume as a domestic disturbance I yell out "Don't tase me bro"2 I explain to him everything I have explained to you thus far and expect Shelly to now presumably be on her best behavior. Shelly gets worse and starts crying about not wanting to go to jail. She shows the officer her goods (presumably by accident though at this point how can I be sure) and as he takes the bottle away starts screaming and demanding to be given her vodka back. He can't arrest her because at this point she is too drunk for jail. She tells the officer when he asks her to calm down quote, "I can't I need some weed. I'm completely out of pot. Can you get me some?" I lean over to tell him this is the weirdest night of my life. He says the same. As we look back Shelly is laying on her face with her naked butt in the air. She has a smiley face tattoo. Have A Nice Day!

At this point ChiChi has come outside and we shake hands and introduce ourselves. She's a tall black woman and apparently was the one who called the police. She trys to cover up Shelly who is showing EVERYTHING, but after several minutes ChiChi realizes that Shelly is more of an upfront kind of girl. The officer is trying to calm her down and find out what was wrong to no avail. Eventually we convince her to go into her house and me and ChiChi through much effort get her to the third floor. ChiChi stays in the room and then walks out saying "hell naw that girl just called me a bitch. I don't play that. I'm out." I tell Shelly to go to bed and start walking downstairs. She is standing next to me and throws her cellphone down the stairs and proceeds to run down them with a second wind of coordination. The police officer is now at the bottom of the stairs, and I give him the bottle of Ambien which I found next to Shelly's bedside just in case she took them. Her robe has now become a waist high apron. No one really cares at this point anymore. It's now been an hour and as I leave the officer is standing outside the apt telling Shelly if she came she was going to jail.

I still don't know what caused her to start drinking in the first place. She mentioned her boyfriend lived in Dallas. Loneliness? Fired? I may never find out. What a morning.

1 Kidding… sorta = D

2 Literary embellishment

Post script: Shelly apparently met my brother and told him that she was sorry for waking us up. Apparently she barely remembers the whole thing. She used the terms "raging alcoholic" when describing why she does the things she does. Is that not weird to anyone else? Apparently she was out with friends and just had too much to drink.

Blondes Vs Brunettes

I was driving in a parking garage yesterday and as I drove up the ramp to the third level I noticed a blonde girl get out of the car. I instantly tried to catch a glimpse of her face, but to no avail. Her back was turned. As I gained my composure I realized that all else equal I don't really prefer blondes. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that I prefer dark haired girls all else equal. Why did I look then? And then I thought if the girl I passed had been a brunette I wouldn't have gone through half the effort.

Then I realized that on average a girl with blonde hair is more attractive then a girl with brown hair. So why is that? It's easy. There are almost no women (I believe it's something around 1% of the population) that has true blonde hair. So that means that women with blonde hair have most likely dyed it. Girls with good blonde hair have to dye it frequently to make it look nice since their dark roots will show. Therefore EVERY girl with nice blonde hair is paying money and going through effort to maintain her hair color. It means they give some level of thought to how they look. They are more vain in essence. This eliminates what would be the unattractive segment of girls who don't care about appearance and thus don't make the effort. Therefore, the average blonde is more attractive then the average brunette simply because there is a cost to enter the market so to speak.

Good logic/bad logic? Discuss.

Part Deaux

The second post in this series is to deal with people not keeping track of information in the right way. The main reason this exists is because no one wants to do the grunt work for proper reporting. As we hinted .. the more someone makes the less they do.

So why does someone who does less get paid more? It's really simple. The more capable someone is to starting/helping a competitor the more money that person is going to get paid to stay at their current job. I deal with most levels within a Company. So a common starting position is an AP Clerk or Cash Clerk etc. If I go talk to this person they can tell me inside out what their specific job is. How the information is gathered by the Company. They can't tell me how the information is used by the Company or even if it's right as far as accounting goes. This is in fact how a lot of fraud is found. Said clerk doesn't know right from wrong in an accounting sense and merely just spouts what they do. So we have zero discernment. As you move up the ladder you find people doing less work but having more discernment.

A manager is going to know what all his people do and then where he sends the information (another manager or vp), but really just crunches the numbers. Once you get in the VP roles then the people skills start shining. These guys are good at making people do things on time (hard as hell to do), package information in a neat bow for investors, clients, etc. and most importantly have a lot of connections in the industry. In fact, their true value comes from knowing other people. It's like the good ol boys club. I have friends that are rich and make decisions so you want me to do the same so I can network with these guys and get us more business. This is why auditors are valued because we often like bees have stopped off at various clients within an industry collecting the good and the bad way of doing things and meeting a hell of a lot of people along the way.

Anyone for help climbing the corporate ladder I recommend the book Never Eat Alone. It's a great reference for someone trying to network and become the it guy.

Corporate America Part 1

Shrink: So is today the worst day of your life?..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Peter: Ya

Shrink: Wow man that sucks

-Office Space paraphrased

Corporate ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />America is full of a bunch of red tape bs. Now I hear the government is worse and I cry at the thought. A lot of money is spent and a lot of time is taken up doing a lot of crap that has to be done because people are liars, cheaters, and thieves. My profession solely exists because people won't tell investors their actual financial information unless they are forced too and/or they can't keep track of it in the right way.

So let's look at part 1 above which is that people are liars. Why? Well if I told you that if you changed a few numbers you could make an extra 10 million would you do it. Now a lot of us myself included want to be moralistic about this, but the bottom line is that $10 million is a lot. Look at Enron. By lying the owners of Enron had made the heads of Enron made well over $100 million. That's not chump change. That's a house in Aspen, your own island, and a trophy wife with some spare change for a Ferrari. Business is big dollars. CEOs of companies who get fired walk away with double digit (some cases triple) severance packages. That's more than most people will make in their lifetime.

Now said CEO will obviously make more staying with the Company. So let's say our earnings are projected at $5.00 a share for this quarter. And we're at 4.99 earnings out of 500,000 shares that's $24,950,000 in earnings as opposed too $25,000,000. So we need to make $50,000. If not our share price right now could drop 10% just by missing earnings estimates by 1 penny. Sounds stupid right? How do we get this $50,000 we can't sell more stuff last period the auditors would catch that for sure and we could go to jail. Well not to worry cause crack executive team has been stowing money away for a rainy day. Cause in Q1 they earned extra money so decided to restructure one of their business units setting aside $4,000,000, but after looking at it further they shouldn't have recognized o say around $50,000. It's not that cut and dry or that easy but this is a simple example to show you really how easy earnings management is.

There are TONS of ways to do this. For people reading who actually look at the stock market notice how close companies get to those projected earnings. Those guys making the predictions aren't that good. The management team just knows what will make their stock price soar (and all these guys have options and so are directly benefiting from said management). The investors are cashing in too so it's almost a win win. The only people who are screwed are the people actually working at the lower levels of the Company which I will get to tomorrow.

If you have any questions to the one or two readers reading this post and I will respond.

Back At Work

So at 7:30 on Friday I decided to evacuate to Magnolia in hopes of being in a place that retained power. While my idea didn't work (we lost power at 5:30 the next morning) we were one of the first to get it back on Sunday night. I spent my powerless days picking up fallen trees in a tractor and helping chainsaw the big ones. I couldn't help but think of this clip:

This movie is hilarious and has Tiffany Amber Thiessen. How can you lose? Am I the only one who loves this movie?

It's interesting when hurricanes and other similar events happen as everyone you know gets a priority shift and drops down a couple notches on Maslow's hierarchy. Alot of times these events are catalyst for change with people. The wind not only sweeps the landscape clean, but cleanses some of the junk of our souls. I took this time without power to enjoy some things that I normally wouldn't have. Took Jenks on alot of walks and just sat and chilled with people. Plus I've missed work for four days now and get a work charge code for it.

PS If anyone needs help picking stuff up let me know.

Thank God I'm a Country Boy

So at 7:30 on Friday I decided to evacuate to Magnolia in hopes of being in a place that retained power. While my idea didn't work (we lost power at 5:30 the next morning) we were one of the first to get it back on Sunday night. I spent my powerless days picking up fallen trees in a tractor and helping chainsaw the big ones. I couldn't help but think of the movie son in law.

This movie is hilarious and has Tiffany Amber Thiessen. How can you lose? Am I the only one who loves this movie?

It's interesting when hurricanes and other similar events happen as everyone you know gets a priority shift and drops down a couple notches on Maslow's hierarchy. Alot of times these events are catalyst for change with people. The wind not only sweeps the landscape clean, but cleanses some of the junk of our souls. I took this time without power to enjoy some things that I normally wouldn't have. Took Jenks on alot of walks and just sat and chilled with people. Plus I've missed work for four days now and get a work charge code for it.

PS If anyone needs help picking stuff up let me know.

Team Do Stuff

I work for an accounting firm. Many of you know this. I work a lot and regardless of what I may say I learn a lot. In fact my time here has been good for a lot of reasons. In fact, I would recommend this job for a lot of people. Big 4 accounting consistently falls on the top 5 of best places to launch a career with Financial Banking following a close second. I start out making more then the average american family of four, but for my degree get paid less than market. It's a trade. I concede some weekends out of the year and they make me one of the most marketable young people in business. By the time I'm 35 on average I could probably be making around 250k plus bonuses and stock options. Looking at the executive board of my Client almost the entire Company came from a Big 4 Accounting Firm. The CEO of my Company in 2007 got roughly 27 million. And I don't want any of it.

Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.

-Leon Joseph Cardinal Suenens

I've always had a knack for spotting opportunity. I have an entrepreneurial spirit that is backed by a conservative pragmatism. I have an eye for finding good people. Doing business better than the competition in my opinion comes down to a few key things:

1) Hiring the right people (far and away the number one quality)

2) Having connections

3) Doing things with an attention to quality while being timely

4) Exceeding expectations

There are many more obviously, but if a Company does all these things they have a lot going right for them. Half of small business last for less than one year typically do too under funding and a lack of preparation in my opinion, and another large portion of what's left doesn't make it past year three. I don't have the naivety of throwing something together and making it work. It takes time, training, patience, and planning.

I give myself four more years to come up with a plan at the latest. I'm still thinking/working on my restaurant idea and also hope to help Vas start his industrial design firm within 10 years. First and foremost I'm focusing on acquiring the tools I need for all these things which is getting my CPA. After that is passed then I switch my focus to reading books business (The Art of the Start) and begin writing a business plan (anywhere from 1-5 years from start to finish depending on quality).
Ya I'm a dork I like computer games, and I've no qualms telling people about it. With so many people asking me about it I had to think about why I actually enjoy it. And the truth is I just enjoy the competition. In fact I would never play video games if our world was like this:

Because hell I could compete everyday at all times, but with sports to be really good I have to train all year for a handful of games. Video games you learn by competing so it's a win win. And hell I would probably play sports if I could just play but I can't. I have to get a team wait around get the guys. To play an hour of sports probably takes in the range of an hour and half to two hours plus hydration, food etc. An hour of games take, well; one hour. I can wake up and play or come home and play no hassle and when I'm done no recovery time.

Different people play for different reasons so this is only why I play. Leave comments if you like games and why.

Lou Holtz

If you like me are highly anticipating the college football season I'm sure you checked out at least some or all of ESPN's four hour college game day live... that is if you were able to put with Lou Holtz. Holtz the former Notre Dame coach has been the geriatric addition to college gameday live for the better part of five years now, and frankly that is too long. Luckily he is counter balanced by the insightful and interesting Mark May. In fact, you can't find a show where Mark May doesn't gives Holtz the wtf did you just say face.

There should be an award every year called the Lou Holtz award that goes to the person that can fully understand a Lou Holtz Pep Talk and stay dry in the process. The guy spits more then Foghorn Leghorn and has the annunciation of a seven year old who just lost his two front teeth. That would be ok if what he said wasn't borderline idiotic. Let's see Lou Holtz's predictions for the year don't worry it's only three parts... feel free to skip it if you were here last year:

1)Notre Dame a team that went 3-9 last year will win 11 games and make the BCS bowl game. That would equate to the second greatest comeback in NCAA history. Forget that the other teams that have done it don't play big players from BCS power conferences. Their schedule isn't exactly a cake walk. Mich St, Michigan, USC, and Pitt just to name a few. The team gave up 58 sacks last year and finished 115th in the country or so on offense, and Holtz has them going to a BCS bowl. Not even touchdown Jesus can pull off that miracle. This earned an 11out of 10 on a Mark May wtf face scale.

2)USC (which just happens to be Notre Dame's biggest rival) won't win the national championship and maybe not make the BCS. It's hard to not bet on USC, but Holtz has made an art form of it. Holtz claims USC just doesn't have the offense to pull through, and no running back to carry the load (forget that 5 highschool all americans crowd their backfield). So the team that has had a top 2 recruiting class for the last 6 years and gone to 7 BCS bowl games in a row is going to have a down year. This earned a 9 out of 10 on a Mark May wtf face scale.

3)Luckily for Holtz his other coaching stop was Ohio State because otherwise he would be 0-3. He predicted Ohio State and Beanie Wells to have a big year. Finally something within the galaxy of reason. Even Holtz and his 24k gold painted yellow submarine find treasure every now and again.

Sadly I am not knowledgeable enough to pick out the Holtzisms for the other conferences but he did a good enough job butchering up the Big 12. Among the things he said the worst was saying that Tech had perenially had trouble with Texas A&M. (Tech has won 6 out of the last 7 years against A&M)

If you can think of anything else please comment

I'm watching College Game Day as I type this and Lou Holtz just picked South Carolina to win the SEC East. Just a quick rundown for you folks not in the know you have Georgia (AP 1), Florida (led by Heisman returner Tim Tebow), and Tennessee (sleeper for the national title) in the same division. This should be number four on my list since Holtz ended his career there. Mark May's response was hilarious, "Lou just tell me how they finished in their last 5 games." Lou wouldn't answer but here's a hint; 0-5 including losses to Vandy and Arkansas.

An Article Supporting My Claim

My string of blog posts have been an effort to initiate a call to action for myself. As I am about to undertake studying for the day I live my few if any followers of my blog with this article that I read this morning.

It's very interesting and in fact not an outcome that I would have predicted. So I say go be and go do.

Dreaming Big and Doing Little

I think we all find ourselves at one point or another having a what if mentality; though I find myself being more guilty then most. I've set to take on and learn tasks far more then I've set out to try tasks. Just developing a list off the cuff of ideas for which I have devoted far more research then action would be:

real estate investing

pick up

weight lifting

growing rich

restaraunt owning

dog training



blog writing

etc etc etc

People with higher levels of intelligence tend to over analyze and I find myself gathering research with the intent of doing things perfectly and then drop it all off at the door without executing. In fact I would say that I am more apt to undertake most of these tasks on this list then the average beginner. I know how to research and plan and I do a damn good job of running the ship. The problem is that success is a luxury of doers. Action is what procures results and I find myself lacking. You know I can blame alot of crap and alot of people for this lack of decisiveness (who can't), but at the end of the day you have to pick up your own rope and get off your ass.

So now I set out what remedies this problem and frankly I have no idea or I wouldn't be suffering for it. So to start out I will set myself up with a to do list for three days and assess the results.

To do list for tomorrow:

Study for the CPA for 2 hours

Work out for at least 15 min (running)

repost on the blog

Ya it's small but I have to start somewhere.

The Dream

So inevitably a show will eventually come on that touches your soul. The male and the female characters seem to be so connected so in love that it's almost perfect. How could someone love another that much. It's sappy and yet it invigorates and lights your core. You feel inspired/touched/moved by this.

Now after the feeling wears off you wonder is that real... can I have that? You think back on people you know or have come across, and I'm sure we all know a few people who seem to have THAT worked out. Ya they're in love they just click and it works.

So going through these thoughts I wonder does love like this exist. I've dated a small handful of people and dealt with a larger handful in my day. I've met some people that I just mesh with. We just get along. Almost as if it was just meant to be. I've met the girl and we've talked and it was as if we knew eachother all along. I've been in love... I've cared about someone more than I've cared about myself. Teenage whimsy? Maybe... but part of me has tasted that fire that burning spirit of connection. We all want that... I want that... you want that... So patience because these things aren't planned they just happen... Show me love